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We speak of letting go and letting God, of being converted to God, of accepting God, of receiving God. To do this, to let go into God by pure faith, means progressive conversion into Who we truly are, a reclaiming of lost parts of our Selves, and inviting those reclaimed pieces into the present and to unfold into our ever-new, ever-more-whole Selves. This Self is the whole Self already waiting to be lived. This Self is infinite, for Such is part of the Infinite. This is returning to Christ, Who shows us the Image of the Father. We discover this Wholeness, this Word, in spiritual contemplation.
*Brian K. Wilcox. Author OneLife Ministries and An Ache for Union.
If we are involved only in our surface existence, in externals, and in the trivial concerns of our ego, we are untrue to Him and to ourselves. To reach a true awareness of Him as well as ourselves, we have to renounce our selfish and limited self and enter into a whole new kind of existence, discovering an inner center of motivation and love which makes us see ourselves and everything else in an entirely new light .... [T]he real sense of our own existence, which is normally veiled and distorted by the routine distractions of an alienated life, is now revealed in a central intuition. What was lost and dispersed in the relative meaninglessness and triviality of purposeless behavior (living like a machine, pushed around by impulsions and suggestions from others) is brought together in fully integrated conscious significance.
*Thomas Merton. Contemplation in a World of Action.
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I spent an extra-long time in reading in morning devotion. I had read many pages about one of the great theological doctors of the Church. Near the end of the work, the words of his stature of mind and spirit baffled me, so gifted was this man.
I seemed so small compared to this man, and those similar. All of what seemed expert or grand about my mind and being seemed a puny shadow.
Several days before I had gotten a beautiful birthday card. On the front were words of affirmation. Just when I felt saddened by my own apparently small self, I turned and looked to my desk. I had no remembrance of the card being on it. Yet, my eyes fell upon the words on the front of the card. In big, gold, and cursive script was a message surrounded by flowers:
You're
Someone
Very
Special.
We can live a dream, a self, not us and not meant for us. This is a denial of the Self that Spirit makes us.
Ronald Rolheiser, in Forgotten Among the Lilies, speaks of this futility of living the "if only" life:
When we go through life refusing to let go of a hope that can never be for us, when we refuse to accept that we are not as physically attractive, slim, athletic, bright, unblemished, strong and connected as we would like to be, then we will always live in resentment and bitterness, frustrated and caught up in a daydream which presents us from living by constantly saying "if only ..."
In that daydream we can never be happy because we are refusing to accept the spirit that God has given us for our own life.
By refusing to die paschally to false dreams, we never in gratitude and joy pick up our own lives.
How happy the person who accepts his or her life as it is with the spirit God has given for it!
I sat before Father Smith. I told him of my struggles in my present religious denomination, pointing out that I was not as evangelical in my ministry as seemed to fit the group. He smiled, replying firmly, but kindly, "God has given us each a particular gift to the Body. That is who we are to be." Relief flooded me, as I felt the truth of the unique Self and giftedness the Spirit gives me. I am not meant to have the mind and greatness of the Capuchin St. Lorenzo da Brindisi, whose feats so astound me, or be the bold evangelical witness that characterizes some persons, say a Billy Graham.
Each of us has a spirit of our Self. This spirit is the unique way we are gifted to be an expression of God. This spirit is unique. Though one in substance with everyone, the expression of Self is unlike any other spirit-expression in history.
When we touch this Self, we feel an inner harmony. From this concentration of focus, we feel aligned with Purpose. As Thomas Merton reminds us, in one of our quotes for today:
What was lost and dispersed in the relative meaninglessness and triviality of purposeless behavior (living like a machine, pushed around by impulsions and suggestions from others) is brought together in fully integrated conscious significance.
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Do any number of the following exercises.
1) After requesting divine guidance, list traits that make you the special person God has made you. Give thanks for each.
2) Ask a friend or family member to list the traits that he or she sees makes you the person you are in God. Pray about how God uses each to honor Him and bring joy to others.
3) Go into quiet meditation. Request God to show you the spirit of your Self. Note traits that make you Who you are. Let memory remind you of how God has used these traits to serve others. Give thanks for each aspect.
4) Are there aspects of your Self you refuse to accept, but that God has given you? Do you try to be Who you are not? Consider prayerfully and pray about the matter.
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*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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